Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
by darkrunner
Summary: 3 years after Doom, Jounouchi comes back for Mai. He loves her and she loves him, but their usual lack of communication leaves Mai alone on a beach and sends Jounouchi running away across the country. Fluffy, funny, romantic, and a touch angsty. JouMai
1. Proverbial Sunrise

A/N: I started this fic almost a year ago, so if it's worse than my current stuff, that's why. I did try really hard to fix it up, but I'm never sure.

Japan Family name, given name. (ex: Jounouchi Katsuya) America Given name, family name. (ex: Katsuya Jounouchi) There's a sort of joke you'll need to know that for.

Beta-read by pyrocrazed gel.

Three-shot.

_"Stop right there! That's exactly where I lost it! See that line? Well, I never should have crossed it. Stop right there! I never should have said that; it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again, 'cause who I am hates who I've been, who I am hates who I've been."_  
-"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K from the album _Mmhmm_.

Disclaimer: These are the things I do NOT own: the song, Yuugiou, and during musical time, my life.

* * *

Jounouchi Katsuya paced nervously in the hotel lobby. He was drawing stares from the staff and the few people that were there at 6 in the morning, but he didn't care. The plan had been to wait until the tournament started, but Jounouchi couldn't sleep, and finally, he decided to come down to ask for her room number. But now he was too nervous to do anything but walk back and forth like an idiot. His mind was racing. What if she didn't want to see him? What if she really wasn't here? What... what if there was someone else? Maybe he misunderstood their relationship before...

...except there wasn't any relationship to misunderstand. It was three years since the incident with Doom, and Jounouchi hadn't made any contact since then. The last time he saw her... he pushed that thought out of his mind. _He_ had been there. The other man. The main reason Jounouchi was pacing in this lobby right now. Jou watched her cry over his body. She had been angry at that jerk at first... but then again, she had been angry at Jou, too. And she hadn't come to see him in _three years_.

"Um... can I help you, sir?" Jounouchi's train of thought was interuppted by a brave desk clerk. The blond duelist jumped and looked up. His pacing had led him towards the front desk.

"N-no," Jounouchi stammered in decent English. "I... uh... well, actually, yeah. I'm looking for someone. Could you get me their room number?"

"Certainly, sir," the clerk replied politely. "Their name?"

Jounouchi hesitated a moment more. "Kujaku Mai."

The clerk typed, and looked at her computer screen.

"I'm sorry, sir, there's no one by that name here."

Jounouchi's heart raced nervously. No. She had to be here. They said... she had registered!

"Wha... no, she has to be here. She's in the tournament. They... they told me-" Jounouchi babbled. He stopped suddenly. Wait. He could've smacked himself in the forehead. He was in America. Duh.

"Mai Kujaku?"

5 minutes later Jounouchi still wanted to smack himself in the head, but for a different reason. He was standing nervously outside of Mai's hotel room door-119-with absolutely no idea what to do from here. Well, he had SOME idea. Knocking was one of them. Running away and pretending he never came here was another. He took a deep breath.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Nothing. Silence. Jounouchi sighed. She probably left already to get ready for the tournament. Maybe he'd go check the arena...

"Nn... Hello?" someone called sleepily. Jounouchi whirled back around towards the door. She was there. Mai was really there. He opened his mouth to reply, but the words caught in his throat.

"Hello?" she repeated. He could hear footsteps, getting closer. His heart was pounding. When the footsteps stopped, he wasn't sure if it was her or he just couldn't hear over his heart.

"What the...?" she gasped. Jou guessed she had looked through the peephole. Hobey ho, here we go. The lock was thrown, and...

"Hey, Mai," Jounouchi said lamely.

Kujaku Mai stared at the young duelist standing in her doorway, speechless. Jou grinned sheepishly, attempting to look like he knew what he was doing. Luckily for him, Mai was too stunned to notice what he was doing, blinded by the fact that it was actually HIM.

"H-how...?" she said, dazed.

"I pulled some strings with the tournament folks," he explained quickly. "Got them to tell me if you were coming. Then I just went to the hotel desk... and... yeah," he concluded. Mai was still staring.

"I don't believe it," she said. "All this time... I never thought..." she leaned on the doorway. Jounouchi nervously took a step forward. Crap, he didn't think him showing up would be that... well... he had no idea what was going to happen when he showed up, now that he thought about it. Her fainting wouldn't have been very high on his list though.

"I don't suppose it would cover it to say 'I'm sorry'?" she asked. Jounouchi blinked a couple times, thoroughly confused.

"Uh... I don't..." he stammered. Then something clicked. "OH. That. Wha- are you kidding me?" he said, taken aback. "You don't need to-"

"Jounouchi." It was the first time he'd heard her say his name in three years. She held up a hand to silence him. "I know you don't need to hear it. But I still need to say it." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

Jounouchi nodded, not feeling entirely comfortable replying. It was over and done with, and he forgave her. That didn't change the fact that he was a man and didn't like expressing himself. Which was actually the stem of all their problems, but he was to re-learn that lesson soon enough.

Mai suppressed a yawn, and stepped back from the door.

"Well, come on in," Mai offered warmly. She was actually very happy to see him, but not being a morning person, she still had a vauge, why-the-hell-did-you-wake-me-up-at-6-in-the-morning? look.

"S-sorry for waking you," Jounouchi offered hastily, not sure if she was going to yell at him. "I couldn't sleep..."

"What time is it?" she asked, supressing another yawn.

"Erm..." Jounouchi said nervously. "...a little after 6?"

"Damn," she muttered. "I'm getting old if I can't even get up this early." Jounouchi wasn't sure if he was allowed to laugh at this or not. Women could be so sensitive over age jokes. Things were rocky enough as it was; he kept his mouth shut.

"So, you couldn't sleep?" Mai smirked, glancing over her shoulder at Jounouchi as he shut the hotel room door behind him. "That doesn't sound like you."

"Nah," he shook his head, chuckling. "But it's been three years, Mai."

"Mmm," she acknowledged him, but didn't know how to reply. He watched as she started the coffeepot.

"Oh!" Jou said suddenly. "There was another reason I came so early."

"Yeah?" she said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Jounouchi grinned.

"There's something I want to show you."

Twenty minutes, some coffee, and a quick change of clothes for Mai later, they were standing in the parking lot, Mai firmly clenching her car keys in her fist.

"Jounouchi, I am not letting you drive my car."

"Oh come on," he pleaded. "I'm a good driver!"

"Can't you just tell me where to go?" she said exsasperated.

"But that would ruin the surprise!" he protested. "C'mon," he coaxed, putting his hand on hers, trying to take the keys. She looked down at the keys clenched tightly in her fist, then back up into his eyes. No, don't look in his eyes-! She turned her head.

"Please?" he said meekly. Mai glanced back at him.

"Oh, all right," she sighed, opening her hand. "But this better be good."

Jou grinned. "Don't worry, it will be!" He ran like a giddy schoolboy to the car. Mai rolled her eyes and strolled after him.

"You know how to drive in America, right?" Mai opened the door-the first time anyone had used her passenger door in a long time-and sat down next to Jounouchi.

"Sure I do," he said, looking over his shoulder as he backed out. "Left side of the road, right?"

Mai was halfway out of the car before he laughed and quickly said, "Kidding! I'm kidding!" Mai glowered at him and pulled back into the car.

"I get it, no driving jokes," he said, waiting for her to put her seatbelt back on. "Go!" he added in English.

"...Jou?" Mai was trying not to laugh.

"Yeah?"

"Stick to Japanese."

"Here we are," Jounouchi announced happily.

"Um... the beach?"

"Yeah!" Jou said enthusiastically. "C'mon!" He climbed out of the car and ran out into the sand.

Mai stifled a yawn. "We couldn't have done this later?" she called. Mai wasn't much of a morning person to begin with, and it was still dark out.

"No, I want you to see this," he replied, waving for her to follow. She sighed and kicked her shoes off. Heels weren't very good in sand.

"I bet you've never seen this before," Jou said when she came over.

"What, the ocean?" she asked increduously. Of course she had, on the same boat as him, even. Maybe not the Atlantic, but they all looked the same, anyway.

"Not exactly... okay, maybe you have seen it before, I don't know, but it's worth seeing again, I think."

"What is?" she asked.

"Sunrise," he said simply, pointing to the horizon as the sun spilled over into the morning sky. Mai-she didn't gasp, exactly, or if she did, she wouldn't admit it. He was right, though, she'd never seen the sunrise over the ocean. The previously dull gray sky was quickly lightening to blue, the horizon framed in soft orange and yellow. The sun edged slowly up into the sky.

"Oh..." Mai said softly, entranced by the simple beauty of it all. Jou glanced at her. The soft morning light lit up her face. Jou felt his heart beat faster.

"You like it?" he asked quietly. Mai smiled, still looking at the sky.

"It's..." she trailed off, at a loss for words. "I love it."

"Mai-" Jou said suddenly, taking her hand. Mai blinked and looked at him.

"Yes...?"

"I..." Jou stammered, desperately searching for words. He turned to her, trembling slightly. "I..."

"Jounouchi, what-" Mai started, but was abruptly cut off.

He kissed her.

Mai couldn't help but think of her duel with Malik, when he had taken her face in his hands. She thought he might kiss her then-or at least that's what she thought looking back on it. At the time, she hadn't been able to even see him-and maybe she wanted him to. But now? It was Jounouchi who drew back, but Mai was glad when he did. Slowly, they opened their eyes. Jou looked at her expectantly, anxiously. Mai wasn't sure what sort of expression she had, but it must not have been good, because his face fell.

Jounouchi looked at Mai, his mouth still slightly open, waiting for a response. He had hoped she would kiss him back, or at the very least, look somewhat happy, but when he met her eyes, his heart fell. Her mouth was curled into a slight frown, her eyes uncertain and unwilling. Jou's heart started beating quickly again, but for a different reason. His face burned. She didn't...? He felt like a fool. Who was he to think that she... liked him back? He lowered his eyes, unable to look at her any longer. What did she think of him now? He must be crazy, going after _Kujaku Mai_. He drew a breath to ask her, to explain, to say something...

"S-sorry," he muttered. That's the best he could come up with? 'Sorry'? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did he have to do this? It wasn't enough to see her for the first time in three years, he had to go and try to confess his... try to be romantic. He didn't even notice that he was walking away. His feet just carried him away. He heard Mai call to him dimly, but he ignored it.

"Jounouchi!" Mai shouted as he walked away. She chased after him, calling his name. He ignored her and kept walking. Why was she calling after him? She didn't want him to kiss her. ...or... maybe she just didn't know what to do now that he did. After all they had been through, he still felt that way towards her? After she had tried to _kill_ him? After she hadn't contacted him in years? She had wanted to let it go, never see him again... never hurt him again. She promised herself she would have nothing more to do with Jounouchi Katsuya. So then, why exactly, was she still running after him? More importantly, why wasn't he stopping? If he really meant it, then...? Mai stopped. Jounouchi...? I didn't mean it that way! I'm sorry!

Why aren't you turning around...?

Jounouchi...?

_...Katsuya?_

* * *

A/N: Yes, I am freaking OBSESSED with Jou and Mai at the beach. Episode 119 is my favorite polar clip EVER. But the beach part was inspired by my own trip to the beach last summer, and Michael Buble's "Everything". The Shakespearean misunderstanding of feelings and lack of communication goes with the Relient K song.

Mai not being a morning person is something I came up with for an original character based on Mai for my NaNoWriMo novels the past two years. I thought it'd be funny to carry over to this. (EDIT: it was more extreme in the first draft, but it was OOC, so most of it was cut)

Next chapter: Emo Jou! Well... kinda. Jou leaves. Mai doesn't know what to do. She wants to go after him, but where is he? And what exactly does she say to him?


	2. Reverberating Footsteps

A/N: I split up Jou and Mai! Bwahahahaha! I can do that, you know. I'm the authoress, which means I can also get them back together. Obviously that'll happen eventually, but will it be this chapter?

I always planned to have this chapter on the West Coast to go along with the song ("I watched the proverbial sunrise/coming up over the Pacific") but I picked San Francisco as the specific town because I just got done reading 3 volumes of Chrono Crusade.

Beta-read by pyro-crazed gel. Thanks, gel!

_"I heard the reverberating footsteps synching up to the beating of my heart, and I was positive that unless I got myself together I would watch me fall apart. I can't let that happen again, cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been. And this is no place to try and live my life."_  
--"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Reliant K.

* * *

_Boku wa baka._

Jounouchi stepped out of the cab and looked at the huge building in front of him. It wasn't until the driver yelled at him that he snapped out of his reverie. He paid him silently, not trusting himself to speak in English, and the cab sped away behind him. Jou sighed and pulled his bag up higher on his shoulder. No one on the streets of San Francisco paid any attention to the downtrodden Japanese man walking into the hotel.

* * *

"What d'you mean, he left?" Mai shouted at the unfortunate hotel clerk back in Ocean City.

"I'm sorry, miss," he said. "Like I said, Mr. Jounouchi checked out last night. I haven't seen him since."

"But what about the tournament?!" The clerk flinched at the tone of her voice.

"I-I don't know anything about that," the man replied nervously. "Please, I'm just a clerk..."

Mai sighed and turned away from the desk. "Thanks anyway," she said dully. _Watashi wa baka!_ Mai knew she should've gone after him yesterday. But no, she was too afraid to face him. They were going to see each other at the tournament anyway, she had thought, so there was no need to rush things. Mai never thought the younger duelist would just up and leave a _tournament_ like that. What was he going to tell the sponsors? In fact, how did he get out of there in the first place? Mai stormed out of the hotel, heading back to the tournament center. They would have to know something.

* * *

"We don't know anything," the sponsor said quickly as he tried to walk away. Mai stepped in front of him.  
"Nothing?!" She said, shocked. "He's the tournament champion! You don't just let the title holder walk out of the hotel and freaking leave!"

"And why exactly would any title holder want to leave?" the man said wearily. "Why do you care so much, anyway? With Jounouchi Katsuya gone, you've actually got a chance of winning," he chuckled, oblivious to Mai's dueling past. "How you even got here, Kujaku, is beyond me. The best you've done in the past three years is minor Japanese tournaments. Can you even live off of that?"

Mai felt the duel disk on her arm switch into a dueling position. "Do you know who I am?" she said furiously. "I was invited to the Kaiba Corp Grand Prix!"

"Three years ago. And you didn't show up." the man said darkly. "Now watch that temper. I can throw you out, you know. I don't think you want that."

Mai bit her tongue. He was right, she didn't want that. This tournament had been a miracle to qualify for--and Mai needed the money from it. Jounouchi was doing very well on the dueling circut; he could afford to leave this, but she couldn't.

"That's better," he said. "Now get back to dueling. And be quiet about this!" he added as he walked away.

* * *

Mai walked back to the hotel room, desolate. She briefly considered telling the tournament officials. They would track Jou down and drag him back. But then he'd be madder at her... why did he just LEAVE?! If he took the time and effort to track her down...

...but why'd it take him three years? It's not like she had been in hiding. Well, she'd been in America, but... if he just checked the tournament registry, picked up a tabloid, gotten on a computer... Of course, this was Jounouchi, so the possibility of him not thinking of any of that couldn't be ruled out. He had found her here, though. But...three years?

Not that she blamed him for staying away. She never expected him to come back. Maybe he intended to stay away from her, then after such a long time, he decided he wanted to see her for old-time's sake? A crazy plotline started unfolding in Mai's mind. Yeah... he wanted to come back and say hi, just one last time. He remembered his old feelings for her--he had had feelings for her, hadn't he?--and decided to try and woo her. He took her to the beach, and... then he remembered Doom and realized he didn't like her like that anymore and he left. He went away from the tournament too... because he didn't want to see her? To clear the way for her? That didn't sound like him, he would've wanted to duel.

Mai sighed, having arrived at her door. _Katsuya_. She'd never gotten to use his given name. He had no idea how _she_ felt. If she just knew where he went... she could talk to him one last time. Let him know, for whatever good it would do.

But she had absolutely no idea where he went. He didn't tell her, and obviously didn't tell anyone in the tournament. Who _would_ he tell? He wouldn't just disappear off the face of the earth; there were too many people who cared about him for that. Would he tell his friends? Probably. But would they help her? The last time she'd seen them... yeah. That wasn't a good idea.

Mai threw her duel disk onto the bed. Money or not, she didn't know if she had it in her to duel. Sitting down at the desk, she sighed. What she wouldn't give to turn back the clock; tell him how she felt before he left. She gazed out the window absentmindedly. The main road stretched out in front of her, and she could just barely glimpse the boardwalk. She forgot where exactly Jou had taken her that wasn't covered with stores and tourists. It was a nice town, decorated with condos and hotels and friendly families and clueless tourists instead of the skyscrapers and run-down back streets and alleyways and loneliness back in Japan.

Oh, the loneliness. For the number of people crammed on such a small island, you'd think Mai would be able to find someone. She didn't know what it was about the foreignness and occasional less heavily-populated of America, but things were ever so slightly better for her there. The travel expenses to Japan for tournaments were unbelievable, but Mai had a couple of connections. One of which was Vivian Wong, female Chinese Duel Monsters champion. But that's another story entirely.

She kept staring at the boardwalk. The beach, she loved, but she never did see the appeal of the boardwalks. It was an American thing, she guessed. Why would you need a walkway next to a perfectly good beach? The touristy stuff was nice, but not together. Mai wanted a view of the beach, not a bunch of amusement park rides. Though that Ferris Wheel looked nice... daydreams of her and Jounouchi and the maybe-not-so-bad touristy stuff drifted through her mind.

Mai shook her head, tearing her eyes from the window. None of that could happen, now, could it? Jounouchi was long gone, and she was stuck here with little money and no way of knowing where he went. She didn't know, the tournament people didn't know, his friends would never help her after what happened...

Shizuka! Mai thought suddenly. Jounouchi wouldn't run off without letting his sister know he was okay. And she would definitely help Mai. Unless Jounouchi told her about Doom.

Mai pushed that thought out of her mind and went for the phone. What had Jounouchi said on the drive the previous day? She instinctively glanced out the window again. _"...moved to America. I was going to visit her after the tournament. She lives outside New York City. You should come, she misses you..."_

Mai hurriedly blocked out the rest of the conversation and picked up the phone. After a few infuriating minutes of dealing with heavily-accented operators--it's one thing to talk with them when English is your native language, it's quite another to talk with them when you're foriegn too--the phone started to ring.

"Hello?" She had learned English better than her brother, judging by the accent. Mai took a deep breath.

"Shizuka-chan? It... it's Mai."

Mai braced herself for the reaction. What came, however, was nothing like what she expected.

"I KNEW it was about you!" Shizuka exclaimed triumphantly.

"..._huh_?" Mai was thoroughly confused.

"Oniichan said it wasn't about you," she explained hastily. "You want to find out where he went, right? Ha! He thinks he can fool me. Like I didn't figure it out four years ago that he was in love with you." Mai was extremely glad she wasn't having this conversation in person. She blushed furiously.

"Do you know where he went?" Mai asked, trying to ignore Shizuka's previous sentence and the spark of hope burning inside her.

"Tell me what happened first," Shizuka said, concerned. "Oniichan just said he was leaving and not to worry and hung up before I could get in a word."

Mai sighed and started to explain the previous day's events. Jounouchi found her, they had a brief reunion in the hotel room, then they went onto the beach.

"And... he left," Mai finished lamely. "I sort of went after him, but he didn't even look at me. So I just stood there until I couldn't see him walking back anymore. And I drove back. I didn't see him the rest of the day, and then I finally made up my mind to talk to him and he's gone!"

"Oniichan," Shizuka sighed. "I don't understand. He said he was going to find you, and I figured..."

"What... exactly... did he say to you?" Mai asked nervously. "D-did he actually say that... he...?"

"No," Shizuka admitted. "You know him. He would never just come out and say it. But come on, Mai-san, we've all known for AGES."

"We?"

"Honda-kun, Anzu-san, Yuugi-kun, Otogi-kun, Bakura-kun... probably Kaiba-kun, Mokuba-kun... it was pretty obvious."

Mai groaned. "Well he doesn't anymore, apparently."

Shizuka hesitated. "...I can't speak for him, but here's what I know. He said he'd waited to find you. He wanted to give you time after... whatever it was that happened between you. And it got be longer and longer, and then he was afraid that you'd be mad at him for waiting so long. So he kept waiting. Finally, he heard about this tournament and you know the rest.

"I don't know what happened with you guys three years ago," Shizuka continued. "But my brother loves... loved you, Mai-san. Go after him."

"Where?"

"California. San Francisco."

Mai nodded. "Thank you," she said with difficulty, and not for the reason Shizuka thought. Not _that_ place. Anywhere but there.

"Tell him I said he's being stupid. And I love him."

"The same as my message then?" Mai joked. Shizuka laughed.

"It's about time one of you said it," she said. "Good luck!"

And the phone disconnected.

Mai flopped down on the bed. _San Francisco_. That jerk, he probably went there just so she wouldn't follow. How could she chase him back to that place? That place... the last place they had spoken... where she had almost killed him.

* * *

A/N: Honestly, I COMPLETELY forgot that most of season 4 took place in and outside of San Francisco until I got to the end of the chapter. (As ashamed as I am to admit that.)

Boku/Watashi - I (male/female)

Baka - Idiot

Wa - Subject tag

Boku/Watashi wa baka - I'm an idiot

* * *

Next chapter: Last chapter! Mai goes to San Fransisco. We get to see Jounouchi's point of view on everything that happened between them, and maybe they'll actually meet up somewhere in there. Will they get back together? Will they accept each other's misunderstood feelings and be okay with it? Will Martians land and attack the city, and they'll have to fight them off with Duel Monster holograms?! ...no, probably not. Unless you really want that ending, which I won't know if you don't tell me. Reviews equal you getting what you want, including faster updates. (to a reasonable extent)


	3. It Took So Long For Me To Change

A/N: Final chapter. You didn't think it was going to end with them apart, did you?

Stinson beach is a real place, around 35-45 minutes outside of San Francisco, and from the google image searches and maps, it looks like there could be houses. It was the farthest beach from the city that was still considered a San Francisco beach, so it made the most sense for the house in Doom.

The bit quoted from episode 92 is the crappy subs. I won't use the dub, but I don't know much Japanese, and for once, the bootleg subs were half-decent. And yes, Mai really does say "Jou".

Sorry to anyone I review replied to and said that this chapter would be up last week. I had some other stuff going on, (including finishing an AMV) but I made sure I at least posted by the end of the week. Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed, especially **dancers of the night**, **journey maker**, and my good friend **RB**, who reviewed both chapters. Thanks also to **Blaze** and **Red Archery Girl**, fellow polarshipping authors, and **Materialgirl**, who I believe has reviewed my stuff before? Don't forget to critique and let me know exactly what you liked so I make the next story better!

Beta-read by pyro-crazed gel. Thanks, gel! Don't know what I'd do without you.

_"Who I am hates who I've been, but who I am will take the second chance you gave me. Who I am hate who I've been, 'cause who I've been only ever made me."_  
-"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K, from the album _Mmhmm_.

* * *

Mai stepped out into the blazing California sun, hitching her overnight bag higher up on her shoulder. She was here, now what? She had called Shizuka again from the New York airport--almost losing her nerve and needing reassurance--but Jounouchi had failed to tell her where exactly he was staying. She had called _him_, trying to get the information from him, but he'd gotten suspicious, despite her (completely untrue) reassurances that she wasn't going to tell Mai because she had no way to get in touch with Mai. She also mentioned that she certainly would tell Mai if she did know where to call, resulting in Jounouchi hanging up the phone, calling back to apologize half an hour later, then hanging up again before Shizuka could ask anything.

So Mai had spent the entire plane ride thinking of how exactly to find Jounouchi. Armed with a photo that she had miraculously found in a magazine on the plane--probably because of the major tournament right now--and no plan other than asking people if they'd seen him, Mai hailed a cab.

"Where to?" the cabby called over his shoulder, starting the engine. Mai slid into the backseat, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Into the city," Mai said in better English than Jounouchi. "I don't care where."

"Can I ask why?" the man asked, curious. They slowly started driving away from the terminal.

"I'm looking for someone," Mai replied truthfully. Well, if she was going to find Jounouchi, she might as well start somewhere. Fishing the magazine clipping out of her pocket, she passed it up to him. "Seen him?"

The cab driver immediately pulled over.

"What--?" Mai started to ask, but the driver cut her off.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed. He spun around, pointing at the picture. "Came in a couple days ago, right?"

Mai nodded, hardly able to believe her luck.

"Yeah, I remember 'cause he didn't say anything," the driver continued. "Got in the cab and just sat there for a few minutes. I asked him where he was going, but he wouldn't say anything. That's real odd--usually the tourists at least start talking in their own language, and the businessmen know how to say where they're going. I finally asked him if he wanted a hotel and he nodded. I kept looking at him in the mirror, that's how I remember his face."

"Do you remember the hotel you took him to?" Mai said, not daring to hope for his answer.

"Sure I do!" He looked up at Mai suddenly. "You his girlfriend?"

Mai wished she wouldn't blush every time someone said anything to that effect. "That's what I'm here to find out."

* * *

"We're here."

Jounouchi looked up suddenly. What...? He was in a cab. He blinked a couple of times, realizing that he had dozed off. Jou glanced out the window and saw the ocean. That's right. He wanted to go to the beach. Why the heck did he want to do THAT? His train of thought was interrupted by the cabbie clearing his throat. Jounouchi hastily pulled a few American bills out of his wallet and handed them over. He got a handful of change--no bills--and a funny look from the driver, and exited the car.

His legs were stiff, which might explain the lack of bills in his hand. How long had he been asleep? Jounouchi started towards the beach while he tried to remember. He'd been in the hotel and hadn't been able to sleep because he was still half on Japan time and half on Jersey time. He vaguely recalled going down to catch a cab and telling him to go to the beach, before promptly falling asleep. Changing time zones multiple times in the span of a few days was NOT a good idea. Jounouchi kicked at the sand in general frustration.

Half-hoping the cab was still around; he looked back at the road. It wasn't, of course, which meant he was stuck here, since he had no idea how to get back. He went down closer to the shore. Memories of Mai or not, he still loved the beach. Might as well make the most of it while he was stranded.

* * *

"Katsuya Jounouchi," Mai said matter-of-factly.

"Excuse me?" A hotel clerk looked up from behind the desk.

"I'm looking for Katsuya Jounouchi," she demanded again, before she got scared and ran away.

The clerk--not nearly as polite as those they left back in Ocean City--sighed and started typing. Mai waited impatiently.

"Room 220," the clerk said lazily. Mai was halfway to the elevator before he could even look up from the desk.

Mai slammed the second floor button down, and suddenly realized just how close she was. What was she going to say? That thought had scared her to the point that she completely ignored it on the flight over. She'd figured she'd have time to think of that while searching for him. After such a short search... now she was completely unprepared. The elevator suddenly felt very confined, and she was in the unique position of wanting to get off and stay in at the same time. When the doors opened, she ran out into the hallway and stopped.

There was the offending door, staring her in the face. She nervously inched towards it. What did she say? Should she apologize? Biting her lip, she put her hand on the doorknob. He never seemed to think things through, and he did well enough. With a shaking hand, she knocked on the door. It swung open almost immediately. Mai braced herself.

"You looking for someone?"

Completely dumbfounded, Mai stared at the cleaning woman.

* * *

Taking his shoes off, Jounouchi made his way to the water. He sat down at the edge of the tide and flopped back, staring up at the clear sky.  
Maybe he shouldn't have left. He loved her. The fluttering feeling in his stomach and the burning in his heart told him that. He could make things work. Maybe all she needed was time. They'd been together all of an hour when he'd run off. Maybe...

Then he remembered the look on her face. Grumbling, he sat back up, for no reason other than something to do to get the memory out of his head. Why did he always have to be so STUPID? He couldn't wait another few days? He waited three years!

Jounouchi stood up, and brushing the sand off of him. Maybe a walk would clear his head.

* * *

Mai exited the hotel, back where she started. Jounouchi was off somewhere, and she had no way of finding him. He'd apparently instructed the hotel staff not to allow visitors. Once the lazy clerk at the desk remembered this, they'd come to her and politely told her to get out. They would tell him that someone came to see him, and he'd run off again before she could track him down.

A car horn interrupted her thoughts. She looked up to see the taxi she'd arrived in still idling at the curb. She jogged over, eyes wide.

"How'd it go?" he called through the open window.

"He's not there," she admitted. "And they won't let me stick around to wait for him."

"Want me to take you somewhere else to look?"

"I guess," she sighed, reluctantly climbing into the cab. It was nice to have the help, but what did it matter anymore? He was off in the city somewhere, and she had no idea where.

_"...The beach?"_

_"Yeah!"_

Mai looked up suddenly.

"Can you call other taxi drivers and ask if they've seen him?" Mai asked desperately.

The driver glanced at her in the mirror. "Well, yeah, but there's an awful lot of Asian tourists in the city, and at that hotel. I don't know if they'll know anything."

"What if I know where he went?"

"...maybe," the driver replied after a moment's thought. "It's worth a shot, anyway." He picked up the radio.

He started speaking quickly in English, and Mai couldn't catch all of what he was saying. Other voices came back through the radio, greeting this driver, whose name appeared to be Wayne. He lowered the radio and turned around to look at Mai.

"Okay, where is he?"

"The beach?"

His face fell. "There are a lot of beaches around here."

"Well, it's the best I've got."

Wayne sighed and picked the radio back up.  
"A blond Japanese guy, 'bout twenty, staying at the Westin, was going to a beach? Anyone?"

The speaker crackled, and a number of voices came back negative. Mai sighed. It figured.

"Wayne? Young guy, you said? Real quiet, doesn't speak English too well?"

"Yeah!" Mai shouted over the driver's shoulder.

"He fell asleep, so I took him to Stinson," the driver chuckled. "Why you looking for him?"

"I got a woman here trying to track him down," Wayne explained.

"Really? Well get her out there, quick, cause he looked pretty upset over something."

"On the way," Wayne chuckled. "Thanks, Eric." He put the radio back, and turned around to look at Mai in the backseat, who couldn't believe her luck.

* * *

Jounouchi sighed and skipped a stone on the ocean. He was still at the beach, back where it all started. More literally than he realized. A house stood atop a cliff, at his back. He didn't even notice it.

He threw another stone. It skimmed across the water very briefly before sinking. Skipping stones didn't exactly work when there was a tide. And he wasn't very good at it to begin with. He wasn't good at a lot of things to begin with, as he was painfully learning. He'd botched things beyond repair with Mai. He didn't have much plan now, besides hide out for a week or so. Or maybe he'd go back to Japan--the trip would be faster for him than her, and she still had the rest of tournament to finish. Eventually he'd have to go back to the sponsors and apologize. Probably have to go to some other tournament, or... Jounouchi shuddered... endorse something.

"Idiot!" he yelled, throwing another stone, not even bothering to attempt to skip it. Why did he have to be such an idiot? He didn't have enough sense to stay in touch with Mai after Battle City, after she had been tortured for 20-odd hours by that psycho bastard. He couldn't realize it until it was too late how to help her when she joined Doom. If he had dueled all out in their first duel, maybe things wouldn't have turned out so badly. He might've kept his soul, or at the very least, not passed out in her arms, reduced to having to push her away to keep her safe. She wouldn't have gone off on her own and lost her soul. The gang would've been there. They would've understood. Right?

Well, none of it mattered anyway, because he _hadn't_ done any of that. He had been a stupid jerk and she'd joined Doom, and he'd lost his soul. Mai never liked him to begin with. Obviously. What kind of a girl would fall for a stupid punk like him? He closed his eyes and his arm ripped through the air angrily, throwing another pebble.

* * *

Mai took a deep breath. There he was. Hoping her legs wouldn't give out, she slowly started towards Jounouchi. His back was to her, and he was walking away. Occasionally, he'd stop and throw something out towards the ocean. In the back of her mind, she also hoped that he'd run out of whatever he was throwing by the time she got there.

Looking at him was making her more nervous. She turned her head away and gazed at the scenery. Towards the land, the sand faded into scrub and grass. The dunes gradually grew into a hillside, bordering the beach farther down. She imagined the view was gorgeous from up there, and glanced out over the ocean, at the setting sun.  
Frowning, despite the beautiful scene, Mai looked back up at the hillside. Why did this look so familiar? She jogged, and a house came into view on the hillside. Stopping short, she looked out at the horizon again.

Oh no. Not that beach. There was no way he could've known that this was the very place she promised herself she'd come back someday. Mai looked up, and sure enough, there was the house she'd woken up in after Doom.

Memories of Varon and the Orichalcos and things she'd much rather forget came rushing into her mind. _This_ was why he left. Why she should just leave him alone and let him get on with his life. She'd tried to kill him, because he had something she didn't. Because she wanted to prove herself. Because Malik tortured her, and a million other reasons that didn't matter. She tried to _kill_ him. There was no excuse for that.

So why was she still walking? She'd insulted him, been cruel, _hurt_ him... but before Ocean City, her last memory of him was when she took... when their duel ended. And he was smiling. He knew what was happening, knew it was her fault, and he smiled at her and said it was a great duel. If he could go through all that, couldn't there be a chance he would forgive her now?

His back was still turned, but if she got any closer, he'd notice. Now was the time.

"Kat..." Mai caught herself before his given name tumbled out of her mouth, and she prayed he wouldn't notice. "Jounouchi?"

Jounouchi lifted his head when he heard his name. Who knew him out here? Who would know that he was here? For that matter, who would come after him in the first place? _Mai?_ Anxiously, he looked behind him. Mai was walking down the beach, waving halfheartedly. Jou turned away again and walked towards the water. Why couldn't she just leave him alone if she didn't... love... him back? She didn't have to come after him and pretend anymore. It had been three years, she didn't think that Jou had already considered that she didn't feel the same? How, despite how horrible he knew it would feel if she shot him down, he went and asked her anyway because he loved her that much? The last thing he wanted was for her to come here and _pretend_.

"How'd you find me?" he called, annoyed. Mai cringed at his tone.

"S-shizuka-chan," she admitted, trying to keep her voice light. Jounouchi didn't respond, throwing another rock into the water. "She says she loves you. And you're being stupid."

Jounouchi hurled the last stone angrily, and started to walk away. Stupid, huh? Yeah, that pretty much summed up everything he ever did. He was too angry with himself to say anything to Mai, who was following nervously.

"That's Shizuka-chan talking, not me," Mai said quickly. "I... well, I wish you'd said something, but you had every right to leave. I-I understand. But..."

_He hates me_, Mai thought. _Please, Jou, just let me apologize. I know I don't deserve it, but I swear I'll never hurt you again._ Mai was so nervous. Jounouchi had every right to snub her now, after Doma. But even if she didn't deserve him, she still... she had to try. Hesitantly, she walked after him.

"Jounouchi, I'm sorry--"

Jounouchi whirled around at her. _Sorry?!_ It took everything he had not to yell at her. Why did you come here? Just to remind me that I made a fool of myself in front of you? He drew a breath to speak, but his mouth just hung open for a few seconds, then he turned away from her again. He didn't trust himself to say anything while looking at her. It wasn't her fault that she didn't love him back. Wasn't her fault that he just lost the love of his life. She didn't deserve his anger.

"Don't..." he mumbled so quietly that Mai wasn't sure if he had even spoken. There was a long pause while Mai waited for him to say something, and Jou tried to think of something to say. "Just go," he finally sighed.

"Jou, please--"

"Go," he repeated sternly. Mai reached out a hand towards his back, as though to put it on his shoulder. It hung it midair as she stood there indecisively. Katsuya... don't you realize... I think... I think I love you. Don't make me leave...

"Jounouchi," Mai said, choking back tears. "Look at me."

There was an eternal pause, then reluctantly, he stepped around to face her. Their eyes met, Mai's pleading, and Jou's... Mai couldn't tell. He shook his head slowly and started to walk away from her. Mai panicked at seeing him leave. Without warning, she roughly grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him towards her.

And kissed him.

Jou was just as surprised as Mai had been when he had kissed her. His mind was blank as he struggled to figure out what the hell was going on. He was about to put his arms around her when she broke off.

Mai could hardly believe what she was doing. She had tried to kill him! He hated her! But she still loved him, and couldn't just leave. Mai held the kiss for as long as she dared, then quickly pulled back.

"Baka," Mai whispered, trying desperately not to cry in front of him. Her vision was blurred as she turned away from him and started to run. If he was going to reject her, fine, that was his choice. He had every right to, after the things they had been through together. But at least, she wanted to kiss him one last time. Goodbye, Katsuya, she thought desolately.

Before she could get more than a few feet away though, something held her back. Mai looked over her shoulder to see Jounouchi grasping her wrist, his mouth frantically trying to form words.

"Mai..." he sputtered, "You... what...?"

Mai stopped and looked at him, surprised. What was going on? He didn't want her there, right? She waited anxiously as he tried to say something.

"Why...? I thought... you didn't want to...?" he said, confused. "You... you don't hate me?"

Mai would have burst out laughing if she hadn't been on the verge of tears. "Hate you?!" she exclaimed. "What... where did that come from? I thought you didn't like me!"

"No! Why...?" Jounouchi trailed off, stunned.  
They stared at each other in utter disbelief. Jounouchi had fled a major dueling tournament and Mai had chased him across the country... and neither of them hated the other? Jounouchi grasped for words while Mai kept gaping.

"I thought _you_ hated--" he started. "After I--" He blushed, unable to finish the sentence. "Well, when we... er, I... uh... y'know..."

"Kissed me?"

"Yeah... you were... you didn't... when I looked at you, it was like I did something wrong," he admitted finally. "I didn't know what to do. I thought it was my fault. That you didn't like me."

"Jounouchi!" she exclaimed. "I didn't like you...? Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno," he said sheepishly. "You're like, ten years older than me--"

"_Eight!_"

"Sorry, eight," he corrected. "You're..." he blushed a bit. "You're beautiful, you're... well I guess I don't know about now, but you said somethin' once about your folks being from wealthy families... you're one of the best duelists in the world... I'm just a poor kid from a little town. I've never been anywhere--unless we were savin' the world--I..."

"Jou," she said sternly. "I never judged you by your past--"

"Well what was I supposed to think?" he said, throwing his hands up. "I don't know, I guess my mind just jumped to the worst... and then when you came back, I thought that you, I dunno, you just were checking up on me--that you didn't really want to stay..."

"Baka!" she exclaimed, surprised. "I thought you were mad at me for Doom! Hell, you came to _San Francisco_. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to come back here?"

"Doom?" he said equally surprised. "I went and tracked you down at the tournament and you thought I still cared about that? I TOLD you I didn't care about it."

"Jou, I spent the past three _years_ thinking you blamed me for Doom!" she said, pulling her hand off of his for a moment to brush away another tear. Dammit, why did she have to cry in front of him? "I thought you _hated_ me! You _should_ hate me! The last thing I expected was for you to kiss me!" She sighed. Jounouchi cringed, waiting for the rest.

"I always meant to come back." Mai lowered her voice. "I wanted to. I was so happy when you found me, but when you... you kissed me... I didn't know how to react. Even if you wanted me... I still didn't think I deserved you."

Mai bit her lip and looked down, waiting for him to pass judgment on her for Doom. Instead, he laughed.

"What's so funny?" she said defensively.

"Listen to us!" he laughed. "Here we are, thinking the exact opposite... the polar opposite... of each other, and if we had just talked then..."

"Hey, I did chase after you on the beach!"

"What? Why didn't you say anything?!"

"I told you, I thought you were mad about Doom!"

"Well, I thought you never liked me to begin with!"

"Kats-- Jounouchi..."

She trailed off, blushing. He noticed that time. His face, which had been previously confused and upset, quickly lit up and he took a step towards her. Mai lowered her eyes, embarrassed. The tears in her eyes threatened to spill over again. Eager not to make eye contact, she glanced down at their hands. Mai hadn't noticed, but his had moved down from her wrist, and was holding her hand. Seeing it, she could suddenly feel it; the gentle way he held her hand in his, the warmth of skin against hers. Everything about it felt so _right_. Jou took his other hand up and, after hesitating for a moment, placed it on her cheek.

_"Mai! It's me! Jounouchi!"_

_"Jou...?"_

"Mai?" he said softly. She looked up into his eyes, and just seeing him there, with her... looking at her like that, like he _loved_ her...

"K-katsuya." Her voice quivered as she spoke his given name aloud for the first time. He smiled. A single tear ran down her face as she gasped softly. Jounouchi gently wiped the tear away.  
"Hey," he said softly, moving his hand to her shoulder. "It's okay." Mai couldn't help but laugh, still holding back tears, this time of joy. How long she had waited for him to say that! She put her other hand on his and drew ever so slightly closer.

"We're so stupid," she said, sniffling in his shoulder. "We've been thinking the wrong things for three years. If we'd talked to each other all that long time ago, we wouldn't have gone through any of this."

"Yeah," Jounouchi admitted. "But that takes the fun out of it." Mai laughed, and pulled back so she could look in his eyes.

"I love you, Jounouchi Katsuya," she said.

"I'll remember that the next time I think you hate me," he replied, grinning.

"...way to ruin the moment," Mai groaned, pushing him back.

"H-hey," Jou said nervously, jogging after her. "Wait a sec, I was just kidding..."

Mai whirled around, laughing, and kissed him again.

* * *

A/N: So I was going to use the phrase "total opposite", and then I though, "hey, I could use POLAR in here!" So I did, and I even managed to get the definition of polarshipping in my fic, AND give it a good ending! Yay for word associations!

There's a few references to polar moments anime in this chapter. See if you can find them! (I dunno, I might be the only one crazy enough to think to link those things, though.)

The first polar multi-chapter I ever finished! Review if you want more!


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